OH ISAIAH

DEBACLES

Desperate search to ‘self-heal’ pain and recurring cycles of depression drew me further from the truth. I assumed God was in all ‘feel good’ spiritual or natural activities because he is present with me. Since I stayed in prayer, gave offerings, read the bible, binged watched sermons, served in the past, attended church online or in person it meant that my heart was in alignment. To my surprise, this wasn’t fully the case.

Healing became an obsession after traumas. Inexperience, emotional rollercoasters, heedless lusts, idols, mixed religions, philosophies and other’s interpretations of God’s word added more confusion to an already full space. Fears drove everywhere but inside. The answer was not external. Love led me to share a personal witness to God’s grace, learning its purposes are beyond sole freedom. Our testimonies encourage those walking behind to stay the course on similar journeys. Trials and tribulations come to all mankind. Every voice matters. Our real experiences affirm faith and belief already indwelling. True witness dispels noise that distracts us or convolutes the truth.

PAPA

In solitude, God ripped me a new one. In truth and light, God loved and protected. Devastated by the verity of how far one can drift in blind certainty, a reboot was necessary. The Holy Spirit revealed himself and revealed what he is not. I subconsciously SLID BACK, BACK into what seemed like a whirlwind as faith dwindled with spiritual blindness and unanswered questions. Familiar surroundings blended well. The loops and pain seemed normal.

2020 was a drunken mess. An unseemly season. The entire year was one of extreme intoxication & anxiety, depression, trials and projection. 2020 shook every human being in the globe . That year, I let it all hang out in vulnerability and ignorance. Fresh out of previous and serious trauma, discernment was off. Haste, cloudy visions and naivety lead into more wounding. Misunderstandings ensued. Relationships were tested. Anchors were revealed.

THE TRUTH

Searching for healing and answers, I dipped my toes in wide paths. Since it ‘seemed right’ or felt good, there I flowed. Assuming the Almighty God was in all ‘feel good’ spiritual things, ignorance led to the unblissful. The answers were in his word.¹

Religious traumas opened doors. I was oblivious to its affect. There is no one to blame. Now, I must confess to hearing messages about ‘other gods’ ² over the years in church. Yet, I didn’t quite grasp what that meant fully in today’s sense. Nor did I understand the influence or manifestations of such things. Experience taught lessons. The grace of God saved.

I knew nothing but perceived I discovered gold. God with a mix of things. Truth revealed it was a ‘form of godliness’_³. Traps and bait disguised as light aiming to disrupt peace and personal relationship with God through pain, unforgiveness, pride and offense. God mixes with nothing. God is faithful. His word stands alone– and it works.

IMPERFECTION’S LESSON

Reciprocal trust was broken long ago. Personal breaches and shortcomings extinguished self-righteous perspectives. Experience taught that we are all human alike growing at different stages of awareness. When only focused on our own experiences, perceptions or pain, we become bias to our own interpretations; often negating the perspective, life experience and pain of other human beings– even those we love.

IDOLS RIVAL

Unaware of the subtleties of idolatrous practices at the time, there was a bit of a mix and mingle of habits and ways that seeped in slowly and subtly veered steps off the path of truth. Fear drove many prior actions. There was a self-righteous blindness and anger born of rejection. Unaware of the depth and truth of God’s love and acceptance, pride and willful disobedience ransomed peace in ignorance. A beautiful truth is that love and grace keep us in unconsciousness. Divine correction leads to life.

Truth in love enables us to face who we are in love. With God’s guiding Light we see clearly. Honesty may sting in fallen areas. The word of God is a mirror for our hearts. God loves us and waits for us to return to him and seek him wholeheartedly. Anything that lures us away from love or takes the place of God being our full source and lifeline in our lives, mind, heart and soul is an idol. ⁴ Our loving Father reveals, redeems and rewards.⁵

Our journeys are different, and God knows what we individually need. God meets us at our lowest and lifts us up. Closing our ears to the sidelines and former things, love restores ‘beauty for ashes’. In ego, we lose our sense of humanity. In blame, accusation and anger we’re vulnerable to false perceptions both created and observed. Those states are asymptomatic to the love and union we are called to. God’s word guides us as we journey to peace within and in life. By grace we can choose love and experience it unwaveringly.

REJECTION’S LESSON

God will never leave us. Seasons change. Things happen. Mistakes occur while learning. Love heals and restores the soul. Our faith and relationships are tried but what’s real will always survive. When God says let go, let go. There is nothing to prove. We are always seen and loved by God. He reveals truth in love to us through his Word and Holy Spirit. Love protects us and opens the eyes of those he purposed to see.

LESSONS ON THE GLOW UP

1. Invite God in all things.
2. Trust God alone, there is no other. Believe his word, it comes to pass.
3. Do not defend yourself, let God be your defense. No human is greater than God. Those who may not know will find out without intervention.⁶
4. Try all thoughts and words by God’s word, if it doesn’t add up, it may be time to kick it with God in prayer & solitude. Be patient with the process. There are no time limits in this area. The answers will come.
5. Receive the love, acceptance, forgiveness and grace of Jesus Christ as we grow to in areas to reflect his likeness. There is no condemnation. ⁷ God is faithful and just. ⁸
6. Every action yields a reaction, response or consequences of experience. Choose peace and love. Healing and grace are available, 24/7 with God, anytime, anywhere.
7. Forgive yourself for things done and allowed. Forgive others for what they’ve done or allowed. Forgiveness is a process, be patient with yourself. God reveals to us what forgiveness looks like for us. ⁹ ‘Cast your cares’.¹⁰
8. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, perceptions vary in sight, revelation and understanding. To see another human being is to see ourselves. Our commandment is to love, not to judge. ¹¹ ‘Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks’. ¹² Our words tell a story.
9. A season of isolation, prayer and fasting begins a real process to deliverance, solace and answers. The true and living God is the only answer. God is ever present. ¹³